We went indoor climbing last night until about 11pm. Boy are my arms tired...wait..that's not how the joke goes.. oh well. I got home at about 11:30 and dropped straight into bed. It was hard getting up this morning. I can hardly type, I can't hold a pen and gripping things is not my forte this morning. My entire right forearm is so weak that I can't make a fist. I really did some damage. WOWOOOHOOO. I love that feeling though. Knowing I did a lot of work and I'm suffering for it now. I would rather suffer from too much effort than suffer from the effects of non-activity. Know what I mean?

It's my birthday in less than a week! I know it's silly to be all excited like this but I still love my birthday. I spend so much time worrying about other people's birthdays that it's cool for once that I get CAKE and taken out for DINNER and lots of other things involving eating and fun. Maybe Chris is going to get me a belaying course for my birthday so I can climb without instructors and having to find friends that are willing to belay for me without me reciprocating. YAY. I want a shopping spree at Lululemon too, my favorite yoga store. Karin is giving me a bikram yoga lesson for my birthday. SUPER. I am all set. I bought some shorts and a sports bra there yesterday. SO HAPPY. The sports bra is tight and comfortable, and hopefully will keep my breasts from trying to leap off of my chest while I run. That sort of thing hurts, you see.

I am a little upset with my mother. She is stealing my little brother from me in so many ways. First, she wants to move to the US with him, so she can live there full time as an American with her American boyfriend. I don't think that's fair to him, he doesn't particularly want to go and she's taking him away from his grandmother and sister, his dad, who isn't particularly a hero anyway but still. There are a million things in between that subject and the one I am going to describe, but it's coming down to the last straw. It's my birthday on Sunday, and my father's mother has invited Chris and I, my mum, David and Danny, down to the cottage at Point Roberts, just over the border in the states, as she has sold it, and it's gone at the end of June. This is a little birthday thing for me and a chance to see some family I haven't seen in a while and to hang out at my childhood holiday place. My mother absolutely REFUSED to go citing "why the HELL would David want to spend a day with my ex husbands family". Sure she has a point, but at the same time, my dad won't be there, there's nothing between my father and mother anymore, they are FRIENDS now, and the rest of the family are just people! NICE people, who are willing to keep in touch with her years and years after the divorce because they LIKE her and because they like my brother. They haven't met David yet, but so what! It's not like any of them are harbouring any hopes that my mother and father will get back together. It's been well over 20 years. So the plan was then to have my brother come down with us and see the cottage and hang out for the day. THEN I get a call from my mother, leaving a message on my answering machine saying "Danny can't go because he promised to help with the garage sale on Saturday, and he WANTS to study for his highschool exams on Sunday, he feels bad so he wanted me to call and tell you." WHAT A LOAD OF SHIT. Why would a 15 year old kid rather spend an entire day studying? On the weekend? It's my FUCKING BIRTHDAY! AM I off base? What do you think? If you think I am insane and overreacting, hit me a little note and let me know, cause I feel totally brushed off and ditched by my mother.

The title on the cover of Time magazine today is "understanding anxiety". I wonder if it's a good article. AUGHRGHDHDKFJH I am so frustrated and angry.