I had the second commercial audition ever in my life and suddenly realized that I didn't care about the Weight Watchers ad anymore. I didn't feel like a loser.

I discovered what it felt like to be a regular actor, with acting as a business. I felt what it feels like to be an actor indifferent to rejection. I didn't care anymore. This is how it has to be for me to get over the fear of auditioning. I think this is it, the road to success! In order to cease the nervous destruction my body goes through, I need to stop the fear. In order to stop the fear, I need to stop caring about rejection. All my life, I have been sensitive to rejection. I have always wanted to be accepted and well liked, like everyone else generally, and being turned down for a role, if taken personally, can feel like utter despair.

Here it is! The beginning of the end of fear. Fear is the mindkiller, and although I'm not sure how I would do holding my hand in a box while the flesh burned off as an old lady held a poisoned dart at my throat, I think I can certainly deal with some rejection.

Here's to the next commercial actor in Vancouver! MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEEEEEEE