May. 06, 2003 - 10:03 a.m.
Back in the business of entertaining my public...

Ya. Ok so unlocked now.

I've been brutal on the diet lately. bad bad girl. Naughty, you might say.

The guy at the smoothie shop was flirtatious as hell this morning. So cute. sigh.

So, I know that I compromise too much. I know that I put up with too much bullshit. But my problem is that I always see such potential for greatness. Like "if this thing would only just change a bit to be like this, then everything would be perfect". But you can't ask people to change, you can only hope that you change together. And I think I had a big lesson in not compromising myself with Mike. I refused to give up people that were important to me.

But then I forget that nothing is perfect and that there will always be something that could "only just change a bit". Which is also argument to not split up, in a way. Becuase if nothing is perfect ever, then why avoid certain happinesses in search of the impossible?

I was reading through all the emails the Lawyer has sent me and it's like he's another person when he's in my realm. The things he says sometimes are amazing.

"You never have to feel alone because even when I'm not around, I'm still WITH you."

It's amazing to hear these things. And his friends, ie jackrabbit, don't know this about him. He's so different with them. Gah.

I feel a little acidic in the stomach today. No particular reason. I didn't eat anything weird.

I had a conversation with someone last night, that will remain confidential, but I wanted to say thank you for spilling your guts like that to me. I appreciated it more than you can possibly know. You mean SO MUCH to me. And you know how I feel.

old bitching - random - new bitching

Reads Like:

Sounds Like:
the crappy radio station on our phone system
Feels Like:
acid overload bleah

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