Sept. 04, 2002 - 2:38 p.m.
Bat in the Cave of Love

Nothing too exciting today. It's finally cold here in Vancouver. There's been a little cold snap and it was actually hailing golf balls yesterday. My garden needs the water, but not the holes in its leaves.

As a result of this weather snap, I get to wear a sweater and a woollen skirt. WHEEE. I like it. Another result is that my hands are cold, which makes it difficult to type.

I stubbed my toe about a month ago on the floor track of the sliding glass door, after which I grew a small, under the skin blood blister. The blood in this blister turned brown, as blood does when it gets a little older, but the problem is that it's UNDER the skin, so it's like I have a copper deep brown birth mark on the tip of my right big toe. Weird. I think the only way to get it out is to cut up the skin, which I am highly hesitant to do. Maybe it will just work its way out. I'll leave it for now. Too freaky. Maybe I'll take a photo and post it later. If I can get my camera to work and get the damn photos off the camera in the first place.

Back in the swing of working out. Went and did weight training last night and MAN, I'm sore. It's definitely been a while, and I'm supposed to run tonight. This should be entertaining.

I'm having relationship problems. Do you want to hear about them? No? TOO BAD.

I think the issue is that Chris is just too comfortable. I know that we all strive for comfort, but it reaches a point when it's too much. When every day seems like the one before it, and he would rather read a book in the office while waiting for the washing machine to finish than come to bed and talk to me. We hadn't seen each other all day, and he had already been home all evening after work, plenty of time to read a book in quiet peace.

I just want a boyfriend, not a roommate. And he feels like a roommate who I occasionally get to kiss and have sex with. But we pay our bills, we watch tv, we go to work, we check our email and life drones on like my diary entries.

I know someone is going to say, "Wake up lintpickle, this is life". But life is what you make it and if it isn't the way you want it to be, you change something. What scares me and upsets me so much is the idea that the change that needs to be made is Chris. I can't do it. I can't do that. It would break my heart and I wonder what's worse.

Is this really what love and life together is supposed to be like? It's been 2.5 years, which is a pretty long time, my longest. I want to hear from any of my readers that have had long assed relationships and what they did. What I don't want to hear are "spice up your love life" tips and ways to "keep my man interested". I want to know what you do to get through the dull times and how you remind yourself that love is not infatuation, and infatuation is not love and that there will be times when you and you're partner are nothing more than best friends. I want to know that this is normal, that life together isn't supposed to be a fairytale (x-rated) and that he really is all I'll ever need in life, like I think he is.

Great. Crying at work, that's really great. I should go ask for a raise now, I look so pathetic I could get anything I wanted I suspect...

"Hey, hey buddy..you gotta bat in the cave" - overheard one guy trying to tell another he has a booger.

old bitching - random - new bitching

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