So now I'm at home, after spending dinner with Chris, yes, the old ex. He wants me back and I felt terrible because I worked so hard to get over him, and my work was effective. I felt nothing, but a little bit of affection for him because I did love him at one time. But distance and time made me stronger and wiser, and I've moved on. Proof that I'm able I guess.

JR isn't really there for me anymore either, in a lot of ways. Too much hurt for us there.

So much shit. So much hurt between so many people. I don't wonder if every human hurts as much as I do, and Blue does and Tromley does, and Chris too. Maybe this really is a lower level of hell, and we're burning in my mother's "lake of fire" waiting for our souls to learn something in this lifetime so we can move up the ladder to a place with less pain.

Everywhere you look, someone is in some kind of pain, be it physical, or emotional, or psychologic, or whatever. We all hurt. For ourselves, for other people, for strangers we've never met, for our families, for our best friends, for ourselves, most of all.

Unrelated Question: Do you tell someone something that could potentially make them crawl into a shell, away from you, but if you don't tell them, it will get to a point where it's gone on too long and telling them would only make you seem like an asshole in the long run for leaving it so long, and you become seemingly dishonest? This has nothing to do with Tromley. This is, as I said, an UNRELATED QUESTION.

Some lyrics:

"Every time I get close to you, there's too much I can't say, and you just walk away. And I forgot to tell you that I love you. And the night's too long. It's cold here, without you. I grieve for my condition, for I cannot find the words to say I need you so."

"but I fear, I have nothing to give. I have so much to lose here in this lonely place, tangled up in your embrace. There's nothing I'd like better than to fall. But I fear I have nothing to give."

Both Sarah McLachlan. I know...cheese.