I am so bitter and so angry. I am so bitter I can taste it. Like rotting fruit.

I'm so "poor me". I'm so sorry for myself. I'm so sorry for all the shit that's happened to me. I'm sorry I put myself into these situations.

I'm sorry that I trust people and want so much for things to be good. I'm sorry that I set myself up for a letdown.

My bitterness is this: I long to learn to be cold. I long to feel nothing and care nothing. I long to look at someone I once would have seen so much beauty and wonder in and see nothing. Just another human, another shell housing organs and blood and waiting to die like the rest of us.

I just want to be alone. But all yuo people that care about me won't go away. You stay and say nice things to me and do nice things for me and make me feel like I can't desert you because I care too much in return. I worry for your feelings too. Can't you all go away and let me be alone?

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.