Oh well.

So all these little hints of things are cropping up for me everywhere that writing might be the way to go. Not to say that my writing is stellar, but there have been a few contests brought to my attention, the book that Chris and I are making among a few other things that just makes it seem all too easy. I know it's not, but you know what I mean.

All signs point to...

I do have an apology, in a way. I know that I complain a lot, and this is my personal diary and I have every right to complain, but I need to learn to draw the line between venting and self indulgence. I do believe it's partially because I have so much time to sit on my ass and think. Roughly eight hours a day, to be specific.

When I'm busy, I'm focused on what I'm doing, and other things and I don't have the time or energy to sit and dwell on things that make me feel sad, or that I don't quite comprehend. It's ok to try to understand things, but when there's nothing really to understand, or when the subject will never be understood because it's just the way it is, this is not time well spent.

Again, I'm placing a lot of importance on the salvation that leaving the rat race will bring, and there is that fear that I will be sorely disappointed, but at the same time, I know what kinds of things make me happy, and what kinds of things make me sad, and there is a dramatic shift in what I give my attention to coming up in a week and a half.

I'm placing a lot of faith in myself to follow through with those things that make me happy. Working out, yoga, working in my garden, art projects, writing projects, spending time outdoors, my bike, my brother, daylight.

Spending time on myself and artistic pursuits. Seems selfish and self involved, but really, the amount of time I've truly had for ME over the last three years has been little to none. So now it's my turn to harvest my affections and pay much needed attention to little Arianna, who has allowed herself to be lost along the way.

That can't be selfish can it? Because how can I truly take care of other people if I can't take care of myself?