Sept. 24, 2003 - 10:57 a.m.
Careful what you wish for

Well. I wanted something drastic and insane to shake my life into a new track, to quote myself from a few entries ago.

It wasn't omnipotence, but I see a lot more now.

I am quitting drinking. I'm going to see how long I can go before having a glass of something, and I'm pretty sure that I can go a fucking long time.

I would like to say I'm quitting eating too, but food is slightly essential to survival.

I marvel at how I am on the way to becoming the person you want me to be, and you are on the way to becoming the person I dislike. Maybe we can cross in the middle somewhere, but I doubt it. We aren't passing eachother close enough.

And do I really mean that last paragraph? I don't know. I don't think so. Well, a) I'll never be the person you want me to be because I'm NOT that person and you can't be what you're not, and b) I'll never dislike you because you're fundamentally good, despite your own damage, which is apparent beneath your efforts.

I don't know what I mean. I'm all full of shit anyway.

old bitching - random - new bitching

Reads Like:
my diary over and over
Sounds Like:
airconditioners, the elevator dinging, my typing, david's typing, someone's voice
Feels Like:
cramps are coming on

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