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Comments:
JuNi MooN - 2003-10-05 19:38:27
big hugs for you! you're finally seeing it for what it really is...and that you're not the one that has measuring up to do.
he will never be happy with anyone because he is not happy with himself...and that is the root of his problem. and that, my dear, has nothing to do with you.
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Distracted - 2003-10-05 23:06:44
Or maybe not.
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Arianna - 2003-10-06 03:06:58
or maybe not what? Please, if you are going to leave a comment, leave a name, or a web address or an email. Or at least be less cryptic.
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Distracted - 2003-10-06 20:45:21
So sorry, nothing meant I just think you are deflecting responsibility is all. I'm captivated by this scandalous account of a very bad relationship, but I'd rather not leave a name or share my url because I find you a tad unhinged. Have you ever read your old writing. I followed your tales back some time and found that you used to be someone sounding entirely different, it's like you have evolved to a very angry resentful soul, who was once quite cheerful and optimistic. So by maybe not, I mean't that perhaps his motivations are not as you perceive them to be and perhaps he finds you to be a difficult person to be around. Not every relationship works and when they don't then you move on and try not to over-analyse. That may sound cold but you can't make someone love you. Now I am sure I will take flak over this, but I don't care I am only elaborating on my own observation. If you are so offended you may ask me to not return, I will respect your request.
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Arianna - 2003-10-06 23:11:21
No, you are entitled to think I'm nuts. I know you can't make someone love you, but the part that was doing my head in was that he claimed that he DOES love me. I would also like to remind you, again, that this is a diary, where my ugly stuff comes out, so that I don't flip out in real life. The ugly stuff needs to be expressed so that I don't hold it in and allow it to turn me into an ugly person. I think that despite the occasional slip up, I, for the most part, am not an ugly soul. I think if you met me you might have an entirely different opinion of me. I think the evolution into an angry person came from several events, starting with being suddenly dumped by my partner of three years on the grounds that he didn't want a girlfriend anymore. It was then followed by a series of very hurtful things that started to give me a very different impression of people and how the world works. Not to mention an abortion doesn't help much. When I was told point blank by JR that it was too much in life to expect someone to love me as much as I loved them I cracked up. Because I believed him. That's when the layout changed, the mood changed. Jonasparker noticed too. A lot of people did. But I feel like I'm heading in the right direction now. I'm dealing with things better. I appreciate that your "captivated". I guess it's like watching a car crash. Hopefully, you don't judge me entirely on this diary alone, since it's only one reflection of me and not the whole.
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Distracted - 2003-10-06 23:55:56
I never said or thought you were nuts. It's not like a car crash at all, more like a sense of wanting to see something better happen. Waiting for the upswing. Really however I would prefer to remain anonymous, but you may call me Max if I may continue to read.
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Arianna - 2003-10-07 00:01:43
Knock yourself out Max. My diary is public, you can read whatever you like. I suppose a little criticism from the anonymous public is good for the soul...keeps me honest? haha. I'm going to endeavour to not write about JR anymore, but I will mention how things go when he and I see eachother again, hopefully November. I've learned a lot from this whole ordeal, rest assured. So am I incorrect in thinking that you are actually kind of fond of me, Max? =P
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go on, foam at the mouth:
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