Nov. 07, 2002 - 1:06 p.m.
A Commie Bastard I Guess

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOeeeee.

It's so damn dead here at work, it gives me lots of time to reflect on things I don't necessarily want to reflect on.

That's the trouble with having a quick and active mind. You are constantly thinking and it's often hard to control what kind of things you think about.

Dirty thoughts intersperse with musings on your chequeing account. The smell of someone's lunch triggers a happy memory of a time when you were a different person and thought differently, and that reminds of how you used to believe that people were inherently good and just needed their goodness to be inspired and everything would be peachy. Then you realize how jaded you are now, and how often you wish you were dead. Then you start thinking about ways to die, and go "Gawd, that's ridiculous, I have way too much common sense to take my own life" so you know you could never do it, but you still think to yourself, if a bus ran me over at lunch today, I wouldn't mind so much, really.

Other ways I wouldn't mind dying. Struck by lightning. Would happen so fast, you probably wouldn't know what hit you. Nuclear Bomb up close, point blank style. You would basically disintegrate in less than a billionth of a second or some ridiculously little amount of time.

Being shot in the head without knowing about it before hand (like you didn't know someone was pointing it at you so there's no fear or shitting your pants or anything). Maybe an aneurism? Do those hurt?

I've always wondered about drowning. It's quite a struggle at first and you panic for air, but apparently the death part is like falling asleep.

Stabbing is right out, that would fucking hurt, and you would lay there dying with a knife sticking out of you. Yuck. Nix to being shot anywhere else on the body. It takes a minute to die with those things. Also no to choking, that's too scary and panicky, and if I am going to die from lack of air, then drowing is the way to go.

What about carbon monoxide poisoning? Don't you just pass out and never wake up? That would be the way to go. It's odourless isn't it? So just relax the seal on your gas fireplace and let the CO waft around your home freely. Have a turkey dinner and curl up for a nap on the floor in front of the fireplace, and it's off to happy land.

Don't get me wrong here kids, don't call any suicide hotlines or anything. I'm not going to kill myself. There are just days when you are tired of all this stuff. All the mundane shit that we have to do every day in order to survive in this society, but has nothing to do with surviving as an animal on this planet. It's such a waste of all of our talents and emotions. I use my large IQ to photocopy things and file.

I just want things to go the way I WANT THEM FOR CHRISSAKES!!! Why can't I just run the universe? Then everyone would be happy and I would be happy and we can eat candy floss whenever we want, and fat people would be welcome to eat themselves to death if they so pleased. Nobody would care what we LOOKED like in a pair of GAP jeans. No one would care what we looked like naked, we could all be naked and it would be so erotic and fun and not erotic and functional and relaxed and non-pretentious. Women with small boobs wouldn't know that they were any different. Men with small penises wouldn't have to drive cheesy sporty cars and act tough and talk loud to make up for imagined inadequacies.

If we were in love with someone, we would tell them. We wouldn't have to perform stupid rituals like dating and the "don't call till three days later" game etc. Art would be for art's sake, not for money. There would be no paparazzi, no scare tactic propaganda by the media, no "I have more and better things than you".

Ok so arrest me, I'm a commie I guess.

Commie bastard.

Bring it!

Lunch Time. YAY.

old bitching - random - new bitching

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