Aug. 11, 2003 - 9:15 a.m.
I did this, then I did that, then I did this...

Shazzaaaaam. Well, the weekend was pretty good on the whole. There were moments where it sucked, there were moments where it rocked, it was actually just like the rest of my life! HAHA.

So yeah, Friday night Anna took me to see the Coronation of Poppea, a baroque opera, at my old place of work, the Chan Centre at the university. It was great, for the most part. It ended with Nero getting what he wanted, renouncing Ottavia and marrying Poppea, when really, I thought Poppea should have been murdered and Nero in major shit from Ottavia. But no. He won. That sucked, but the music was amazing and the singers were great.

Saturday - rode my bike to work after waking up early enough to clean up my house a little bit and lie around. Work was long and irritating, as per usual, though i worked with Helen, the new girl who is awesome awesome. That made it much more fun. Then I went home and watched "Spirited Away" which was supposed to be back on Saturday night. Sigh. I will NEVER learn. I ended up having an hour long conversation with Trevor on the phone, that was nice. Then I watched the rest of Spirited Away, since he called me in the middle of it. Heh.

Spirited Away was a very very WEIRD, very Japanese film, but it was so good! I loved it! It had the funny moments where the character goes all buggy eyed and her mouth goes into that 8 shape and she shakes and sweats and yells while waving her fist. "Mom dad I'm gonna rescue you don't eat anything else I'm going to come back soon ok don't go away" and run's all her sentences together. On the whole though, it was a good good film. Loved it.

Sunday morning, rode my bike down to Doug n Shirleys for our usual sunday engagement of exercise and breakfast. I have somehow lost my running shoes. So I had to ride my bike down to breakfast, which was fine. Then we discovered when we got back from breakfast that my tires were rather low so we went to pump them up and discovered that the front valve needs an adapter. Sigh. So I had to inconvenience the Louths to drive me to a bike store (at their suggestion, mind you) and get the valve, since in fiddling with this new and unfamiliar valve I managed to let all the air out of my front tire, so I couldn't ride the fucker ANYWHERE. SO got it fixed and got home in enough time to have a shower and get picked up by Trevor to go see "Dirty Pretty Things" with Karin, Trevor and Jeff.

Another great movie.

And then I came home and had a nap while Norbert, his royal fatness curled up with me (so fucking cute, can't stand it). Then I watched some Aeon Flux, the listened to music and suddenly felt really really sad. So I was reading my old emails from Jackrabbit, listening to fantastic music and crying my head off. Bah.

So I whipped out my trusty tarot cards and did myself a celtic cross to see if I could gain any insight to how I should handle this. It said that this relationship was worth hanging on to. That it would require a bold move on my part. (i was already considering just showing up at his place, so this card gave me a bit of a start) Also said that what I put into it, I would get out just as much and more. It said that behind me was a mutual decision (I applied the decision to not talk to each other, despite how much I hated the idea, I did suggest it). Now in front of me, I can't remember what it said (I should write that shit down) but something along the lines that the friendship would remain. So I was encouraged.

I burned a CD of the good songs I was listening to at that moment, resolved to go get some cupcakes from my favourite shop, which I didn't do after all because I was afraid that I would lose my nerve en route, and got on a bus to jackrabbit's house.

I was so fucking scared. I actually had SPS and was shaking so hard and sweating. I was so afraid that he would shut the door in my face or be angry or not speak to me.

But it wasn't like that. He was happy to see me I think, and things seemed to go right back to normal again. I'm not pining for him today. This is a good sign. Despite how he thinks it was a short period of time, not enough maybe to start to get over things etc, I feel like that week and a half was pretty fucking long. I'll have to wait a couple of days to see if this good feeling continues.

I know it's silly, a lot of people scorn this and whatnot, but sometimes, it helps to do a tarot reading just to make you aware of how you really feel about something. So far, it hasn't been wrong. It gave me courage to go over to Jackrabbit's last night. It really just verified within me that I feel like the friendship despite it's hardships in the past, is worth saving. That, coupled with some time away, shortness of time period aside, I feel less attached already. So the attachment and desire seem to be going, but the affection remains.

So yeah, I'll give it a few days and see how I feel after that. Hope it continues. =)

old bitching - random - new bitching

Reads Like:
Xenocide
Sounds Like:
Ella Fitzgerald - The Way You Look Tonight
Feels Like:
TEA TEA TEA!! mmm tea. Got my best friend back.

1 fussbugets said...



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