Apr. 21, 2004 - 9:04 a.m.
Do What You Have To Do

This is one of those songs that is beautiful, stunning gorgeous to sing and listen to. It doesn't wholly apply to my life but the lines "I don't know how to let you go" seem to be highly pertinent in my life. I don't know how to let things go. I've had this discussion before. When is it prudent to let go and when is it right to hold on? And how do you know when everything, at the time, feels absolutely imperitive not to let go? I suppose I should start applying that old list of mine. Pro's vs Con's? But that would make it about me. I hold on because I feel a loyalty of emotion. But with JR, it was sicker than that. I held on because I was rejected so violently that I lost a huge part of me and the only way to gain it back, in my mind, was to win him. It's very obvious why that was so very very wrong. And now that I'm through that experience, I see what I need and want in my life and what I don't.

What ravages of spirit
conjured this temptuous rage,
created you a monster,
broken by the rule of love?
And fate has led you through it.
You do what you have to do.
And fate has led you through it.
You do what you have to do.

And I have the sense to recognize
that I don't know how to let you go.

Every moment marked
with apparitions of your soul.
I'm ever swiftly moving,
trying to escape this desire,
the yearning to be near you.
I do what I have to do.
The yearning to be near you.
I do what I have to do.

and I have the sense to recognize
that I don't know how to let you go.
I don't know how to let you go.

A glowing ember,
burning hot,
and burning slow.
Deep within, I'm shaken by the violence
of existing for only you.

I know I can't be with you.
I do what I have to do.
I know I can't be with you.
I do what I have to do.

And I have the sense to recognize
But I don't know how to let you go.
I don't know how to let you go.
I don't know how to let you go.

Sarah McLachlan

old bitching - random - new bitching

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Spell it out
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to keep her
End of the line
what to do, what to do.


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