I am completely and totally destroyed. Last night Chris told me that he doesn't love me anymore. It's over. I'm alone. Did I ask for it? Was it my fault? He says no, and we both still want to be friends. I had just decided to accept that he wasn't passionate hadn't I?

He thinks he's a psychopath. Not the murdering type, but the actual physiological disorder, in that he doesn't feel things. He said he's tried so hard to love me. He said that he couldn't pretend anymore.

He cares about me and says he's going to miss everything about me so much, but he doesn't want to pretend that he loves me anymore. He says it's not fair to me.

I am going to have a very hard time for the next little while, both emotionally and financially. I am taking over the mortgage, all by myself. I have to ask for a raise at work. I have to take more shifts at the Arts Club. I have to be alone.

I feel like I am dying inside. I can't stop crying. My nose is running like crazy. I have to skip out on class tonight, which means I'll be letting down my scene partner. I can't believe this is really happening. It seems like a horrible bad dream that is not going to end. I know that sounds cliche, but now I know why people always say it. It's true. I'm in so much pain that I can't think straight. I am developing migranes. Dehydrated I guess.

I was so blind, I was such a fool and I'm so lost.