Still fricken itchy, still wanting to rip the skin from my legs in non-uniformed strips. Got some anti itch, by my trousers are rubbing and tickling and driving me insane. I hate the outdoors now. I never want to go there again ever. It's a horrible evil hell full of horrible evil demonspawn flies that want to eat me. I'll never be the same again, never.

On another note, Chris and I went to the Advance Screening (we're so important!) of 1 Hour Photo, Robin Williams' new film. It was amazing. SOOO good. Go SEEEE it. The acting was great, the cinematography was great (same DOP as Fight Club). A very visually stunning movie. Robin Williams was brilliant and creepy and the guy who played the manager in Office Space played the manager again in this one. He plays a lot of management. Just looks like a manager I guess! The story was good, I was really into it. There were things in it like photographs of a sink and taps and you just KNOW that they probably spent about an hour lighting that sink and taps just for that photo, it looked so good. Anyway, go seeeee!

So back at work today. Don't want to be here as usual. I am afraid that I am going downhill in my ability to actually be here. The way it usually works for me at jobs is that once I start to feel unhappy being there, it escalates rapidly into deep frustration and anger that I have to be there, and deeper resentment to my bosses and staff, no matter how nice they are. I become depressed, start showing up EVEN later than I already do, and start caring a LOT less than I already do. My work becomes a little more shoddy, and I start to cry on the bus on the way to work. When I wake up in the morning and have to get out of bed, I rage at the injustice of it all and it ruins my day. This goes on and spirals downward until I force myself to quit and find another job. I have been here nearly a year now and I am not at that point yet, but I'm afraid that it's not far off, and this job really is cake. I would be foolish to bother looking elsewhere. The only real reason to quit would be to go to school or to do a feature film that will take 6 months to film. I hope I don't get to that point. That would just ruin an otherwise really good deal.

I am determined this week to eat well and be healthy. No pizza, no crap. The odd chocolate bar is ok, the odd candy, but the real treat will be a roast beef and stilton baguette sandwich from Moonpennies on Friday, lucky me. I've taken to instant oatmeal, it's really yummy! Who knows what'll be next.

"I died eating french fries in the restaurant on the corner where you broke my heart. I cried cause I bit my tongue knowing truth would wash over you like a rash"