Nov. 27, 2003 - 9:30 a.m.
Give it Up

It's interesting to see that despite the fact that I've locked my diary, only one person has dropped me from their favourite list. I suppose the rest are waiting for the day that I unlock? I only really wanted to keep jackrabbit out.

Anyway. Thanks everyone for not deserting me, even though you can't read this.

So Tromley sent me this big long email stating where he was with us, and basically said that he would never be able to commit to me, which is fine, I expected that. But it made me decide that he and I should not be physical anymore. Just because I am growing to like him more than is comfortable and I really really don't want to be hurt again. I'm tired of being left. So I did some leaving of my own, in a manner of speaking.

I just said, let's remove the physical, we have to just be friends. Which won't be easy, but certainly would be easier than me falling for him and getting trampled.

Funny thing is, and I suspected this, I think he likes me a lot more than he's comfortable with too. He called me later on that night and said "I miss you already, that's all I called to say". I wasn't going to see him until Sunday at the wine and cheese party I'm hosting, but I conceded to being drawn on Friday night instead.

I've said this a million times before too, but I have decided to let go of Jackrabbit too. For good. We slept together on Monday night it was rough and glorious, but afterwards my vagina was so swollen and so sore I couldn't sit down. I was very uncomfortable. He was afraid he had given me herpes by going down on me because he gets cold sores from time to time. It added to his giult, he said. If I ended up having herpes, he would never have sex again with anyone, he said. And somehow, I don't think he was joking. He's extremely neurotic and dramatic. It wouldnt' shock me in the least if he didn't ever have sex again.

So i'm letting him go. He'll regret it one day, they all do. Just like Tromley regretted it within two hours. But I've always moved on when they come to me. Like Chris did.

It was so awkward seeing Chris on Sunday. I had nothing to say, I didn't even want to look at him. So I didn't.

Plus I'm still sick with this flu. Which is funny since I refused to get a flu shot. Though I am convinced that if I had gotten a flu shot, I would have gotten the flu.

Anyway, Bs n Gs. Life goes on, and I am surrounded by snot rags.

The party on Sunday should be good. I've invited 50 people. Sigh. I don't know where they're going to fit in my place. Hope the night is nice and we can have the patio door open and people can spill out onto the back patio. I'm always overreaching myself. Sigh again.

Fun times.

old bitching - random - new bitching

Reads Like:
Withering Heights - can I please fucking finish this? I love it, I just never have time to read it.
Sounds Like:

Feels Like:
back sore, throat sore, snot machine

1 fussbugets said...

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