Like I say something rather straight, like, my hair is sticking up, then proceed it with HAHA. So I picture myself with a straight face saying, ya my hair is sticking up, and then suddenly I bust into that crazy lunatic manic HAHA.

It's weird.

I'm being brave today and wearing a sleeveless top. My arms are showing. I quite dislike my arms. They're muscular, but the muscles are under a layer of soft flab that seems will never ever go away no matter how much weight I lose. I also have this weird skin condition that all the pores plug themselves. They aren't zits, I've been to the dermatologist and he says that it's common, and there's nothing I can do about it. Get some sun on it, it seems to even out the redness and such but otherwise, short of putting makeup on my arms every day (no fucking way), I'm stuck with it.

I'm into being a little braver these days. I am going to make an effort to really stick by what I need/want. I was thinking this morning how I should have left Trevor way back in the beginning, and what chafes me is that at one point he had said to me, "I thought about it, and I know that you won't break up with me".

That pissed me off, yet I still didn't break up with him. I was so weak!

So. Using the exboyfriend whining thing up there, I am going to become more brave, more strong. I am going to stand by what I want and need, and I am not going to take it anymore. A little bit of pain over a breakup is worth it if I keep my dignity, keep my sanity, and hold out for what I think is important in a relationship.

There was a very hot boy on the bus today. Curly softlooking red hair under a bucket hat, ripped, probably a climber, sleeping. Nice lips. I found myself wondering what would happen if I just leaned over and slipped my tongue between those lips before he woke up. hee hee. Would he freak out? Ya probably. I would. HAHA. (crazed).

I'm getting a new tatoo. I am going to get an asian style dragon, maybe 2 inches to 3 inches long on my hipbones. Probably my left one first, then maybe, if I have the money and the inclination, I'll get the mirror opposite on my right hipbone. I like symmetry, I like to be symmetrical. but the left will do to start with.

Since I was born in the year of the dragon, and I seem to love the myth of dragons in all civilizations, I feel it's appropriate. Also to compliment my Kanji Dragon symbol on my sternum.

Wonder where I'm going to get the money for this one....