blue88

He met the Dalai Lama. You know I'm not religious and I don't see god, per se, in holy men. But what I do see in that man is infinite love and patience and understanding and compassion and acceptance (and I suppose that's what god is to a lot of people) and I know what it's like to be touched by a man like that. Sant Ajaib Singh Ji, the previous master of Sant Mat, held my face in his hands when I was 4 or 5. It was as though this was someone who had never felt hate or contempt or derision or jealousy or anything. He radiated nothing but love and kindness. (The current Master of Sant Mat is a fake, in my opinion, he wasn't peaceful when I saw him, and he asked his followers for money - and his followers were the true beauties at that conference. They all walked by me in a line and touched my arm, one after the other and Anna was with me and we cried, they all looked so knowing and quiet).

Anyway, just feeling that again right now thinking about the Dalai Lama made me feel how much I need to feel the hands of a person like that on my face. Someone who doesn't know me, yet has already forgiven me for anything I've ever done and loves me the way I am and without subtext or drama or anything. Just purely loving me because I am life too, just like they are.

I need to feel that things are ok. It's one thing to be told, it's another to be shown.

Ahhh, here come the floods. Open the gates wow. I need a release.