Why do we play games with each other? Why can't we all be honest? Why is it that if you go on a date with someone, then want to ask them out again, we go through the following:

"Should I call her? Well, I don't want to call her right away because she'll think something's up. She'll think I'm desparate. If I call her in three days, that should be the sufficient amount of indifference to make her want me. But if I call her tomorrow, she'll just think I want to be friends. I don't want to take her somewhere REALLY cool, she might see some of my friends there and think I'm an idiot or something." BLAH BLAH BLAH

God FORBID she finds out you like her. For Chrissakes. If you like someone, ask them the fuck out again! If they say no, then it wasn't meant to be. If she says yes, great, then there's a possibility for more fun.

I just wish that it was easy for us to just say how we felt about things. I like you, do you want to have tea with me today? You seem fun, lets go see a movie together. I had a great time last night, wanna go out again tonight? I have this great idea...

Why can't we do that? Why is there all this second guessing and bullshit and headgame crap? WHY?

I recently told someone how I felt, and it ruined everything. That's why we can't tell people how we feel. Because if they don't feel the same way and we put ourselves on the line like that, friendships get ruined and people don't know how to deal with this kind of information.

How did we, as animals, get so complicated? My grandparents met on the bus. He saw my grandmother on the bus and was so taken with her that he followed her to work and asked her out. Nowadays, if someone did that, you'd call the cops and get a restraining order. Where did that innocent simplicity go? Where's the romance? We're reduced to online dating now because we're afraid to meet strangers by chance. We have to shop through the strangers and make sure they're a stranger that we WANT to meet, instead of someone on the street just walking by.

There have been so many occasions where I've seen someone on the bus or walking down the street and have found them utterly captivating but I couldn't get the balls up to say anything to them for fear they would think I was weird or crazy. (This city is so full of crazies and wackos that we just assume anyone talking to a stranger is a crazy/wacko) I did stick my neck out on the line last week when I asked out the water boy, and I was shot down horribly because "i don't fraternize with clients. i did once before and it was bad" so that must mean ALL the clients you fraternize with will end up badly. GRRR. That ONE bad experience has cost you the opportunity to meet and spend time with someone really great, namely ME, and has closed the door to meeting people. It's not like I'm unattractive or look weird or freaky. He and I had had interesting conversations about literature and films even, yet he couldn't bring himself to be open to the idea. He hoped I wasn't offended.

I was offended. It meant to me that he thought I might possibly a crazy and didn't want to take that chance. But if he was online dating, and saw my profile and read it etc, THEN he probably would have dated me.

See what I mean? AUGH. Again, being a hermit is looking more and more attractive every day.