I'm too manipulative. I'm an emotional batterer. Poor Chris, he puts up with so much, I don't know how he does it. If he treated me the way I treat him I would have kicked him to the curb years ago. And now I can't get him on the phone to tell him how lucky I am.

I'm alone in the office again, momentarily. It's an eerie feeling, as I've always said. I'm going to turn up my music! I'm still obsessing over Pyramid Song. It's calming and saddening all at once. It makes my mind, which is always at work, running about like a running about thing, stop for a moment and stare, just to listen.

There was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt. How applicable in my life and career this line is. I can stack it against almost any situation where I regret something, or when I was most vulnerable. If I had only known this one thing, my life would be so different now. I wonder how different, and would it actually be better? I would have experienced more, allowed myself permission to do so many things. I would have respected myself more. I would have probably been in more accidents. I might have an acting career. I might have chosen a completely different route. I could go on forever about all the things that might have been different had I not feared so much. It wojld only serve to make me regret more.

I am who I am now because I feared. Today I am happy to be me. I make a lot of other people happy, and that's important. No self pity, self pity is for the weak, and I am not weak, nor do I have anything to truly pity in myself.

How's that for instant therapy session?

Hey, have a little read of my mini story and tell me what you think. I kinda like it, I'm thinking of making it into a longer, more correctly written and picturesque bigger-than-mini story. What do you think?

Now I'm on to Bjork, Hunter.

"I thought I could organize freedom. How Scandinavian of me."