I'm being tortured by my desire to spend time with Tromley and my desire to remove him from my life. Which is worse?

Helen got angry with me when I told her that I was going to spend time with him. She asked me not to. I want to.

But I made this resolution, and I told him that we couldn't be friends. But he remembered my birthday and called me today at work to sing me the birthday song. And that's someone who cares, right?

FUCK. What do I do? I still have more than friends feelings for him, that hasn't changed. I'll still wish things were different after spending time with him, but we have so much fun together and we like the same things and I know that whatever we do it will be enjoyable.

It's my birthday. Couldn't I lift the ban on being friends for one day?