May. 02, 2004 - 11:12 p.m.
Good Night Sweet Sunday

The day wore on, I got less angry.

I went to yoga and cried on the mat as my muscles released the pain and sad and anger that they held. I left dark wet spots on the mat. They looked like sweat. Maybe I got away with it.

I couldn't breathe in child's pose, and Georgina came around and knelt on my back to bring my hips closer to my knees, to stretch me. I tried to breathe into it but I couldn't draw air because I was crying too hard and it just made my chest hitch instead.

Meanwhile my stomach and intestines hate me because I food poisoned them on Thursday night.

I'm less angry now, for now, just for now. I feel tired and alone. I tried to go see Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind today but the timing didn't work out. I'm kinda glad. I think it would have damaged me today, wondering about people who may or may not be meant for each other.

Instead, I used gift certificates and bought movies. I bought books. I bought reasons to stay in, instead of going out and leaving myself open to torture.

Yoga. A film screening. That's my only reason for leaving my house right now.

And work. The buses are on strike starting tomorrow, and we all just bought passes for the month. I'm annoyed by this. But I'll ride my bike to work tomorrow. I hope I don't get hit by a car.

Or maybe I do? Things we wish for, don't they happen if we focus enough?

I'm living proof that they don't.

old bitching - random - new bitching

Reads Like:

Sounds Like:

Feels Like:


0 fussbugets said...



Site Meter