Oh well.

I'm a jerk.

I had a terrible sleep last night. I couldn't fall asleep for hours, and the bed I sleep on is a little bit lumpy so i couldnt' quite get comfortable and I kept being awakened by what sounded like people walking around the house, though I knew everyone was in bed. Just an old house - creaks a lot i guess.

So I'm picking up my ticket to Montreal today, it's an overnight train instead of the regular one I was going to take today, thinking Radiohead was last night. BUT it's not, it's tonight and so I had to change my train ticket and the only way to keep it from costing me $50 more was to take the overnight train.

My neck is fucking killing me, I'm going to go back to sleep for a while up in Tim's bed so it's a little more comfortable - (he's at school, don't get any ideas you perverts).

Oh, and on that front, i'm slightly disappointed to report that I don't think I'm getting 'the vibe' from him. He's as friendly as ever, but I think his crush is gone. I don't think he's got that anymore.

I do, it's still there, he's very attractive and all that stuff. But if I've learned ANYTHING in the past year, it's LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE. So I'm not going to stick my neck out there and get smushed again. Forget it. If he still feels like there's something there for him, let him make a move because I don't have the guts or the strength left to.

And on the subject of long distance, I'm at a point right now where I WOULD move cities for someone if it were worth it. If it were really something special, different, lasting. I want to sell my condo anyway. I am restless at home. I hate my job, my acting career is naught to speak of, I have no other really powerful ties other than my family and my condo.

The condo I can sell, and I'd have the money to move. My family, well, they're a flight away. I don't see them very often anyway.

I don't know what I'm getting at. I would really like to try my luck at film in the UK. That could be interesting. Though as the competition of physical beauty is rough here, the competition in the UK for TALENT is probably worse. They are infinitely well trained over there, except maybe the crying part. the British don't cry.

Blah blah blah. Why don't I just go have a nap like I've been planning for the last half an hour? I need a massage. I need a chiropractor. I need a new spine. Throw in a flat tummy and huge boobs while you're at it, mind you. maybe a tight ass and a few extra inches in the height area. HAHA. Or just make me rich. Then I can buy all that shit.