I cried myself to sleep last night, which is never good for my complexion in the morning. I always look puffy and punched in the eye the next day.

I'm starting to really consider "breaking up" with Jackrabbit, as he called it. He suggested we not contact each other for six months. He wanted me to do it. I couldn't. Not six months. I couldn't do it at all. I don't think he could either..but I don't really know what goes on in his head. I don't think he knows either, sometimes.

We're supposed to go camping on labour day weekend. I want to go so much. Should I break contact with him for the month of august? Or should I wait until after we camp? Or should I do it at all? We have emailed/spoken to/seen each other EVERY DAY since November 1, 2002. How could I stand to lose him for even that little amount of time? I think I would lose my mind.

OK. He's not at work today. His cell phone is off. He's not answering his home phone. I suppose I'm a narcissist, but perhaps he's avoiding me? Fuck. FIUCOIJr

I'm so frustrated and angry. If he's punishing me for a slight argument we had last night, that is it. I can't handle this shit. Sure, it's my fault we had trouble last night, but

ahh fuck I don't even know what to say here. At all. I'm losing it quick though.

Fuck.