I'm serious. I have. I was totally sober too! I had a small headache, and I started to rub my head, and noticed that, of course, it's not perfectly smooth and round. There are all kinds of little subtle and near undetectable bumps and ridges in your head. If you concentrate, and try to feel through your hair, you can feel them. Not to mention the tingly rush one gets from rubbing your head, cause head rubs are sooooo nice. I have two little areas on my head that stand up a little bit, a mole-hill or two, so to speak, and in between them is a little gully that runs across my head, from the crown down the back. I wonder if that's where my soft spot was when I was a baby. I smacked my head so often when I was a child, falling in the bathroom, falling off my stroller in a mall, that sort of thing. Explains a lot...

"...rather squeeze my head instead"

In other news, since so much has happened in the last couple of hours (GOD I wish sarcasm were easier to convey in typese), I'll talk about my frequent trips to the can. I have SPS issues today, Sudden Poo Syndrome. It's when you are sitting or doing something whatever it is, and you are perfectly content, feel fine, couldn't be better, and then suddenly, you're poking a turtle and you are about to shit your pants, and you're afraid to get up and run to the bathroom for fear it will fall out your ass, but it would be worse to stay there because then you really WOULD shit your pants. And it's not diarrhea, it's normal poo. I know you know what I'm talking about.

SPS. Sudden Poo Syndrome. Please help. Send all your money to lintpickle.diaryland.com. Thank you for your support.

I think that's enough red wine to last me a couple of years....

Don't forget to read today's earlier entry. Click below!