Sept. 10, 2003 - 11:07 a.m.
Breathe, it's only money, it's only a career, you're still a good girl, and you're still going to succeed

Ya so it looks like I'm going all financial on yo asses.

My aunt wants to front $5000 to open up an investment account for me. So I can learn to do the stock markets. ?????

I know NOTHING about stocks and it seems a little stressful for me but I'm willing to try. I won't owe her the money so to speak, but if we make enough she'll take her $5000 back out again.

Meanwhile, I have more than enough in my RRSP now to hook myself up with some Mutual Funds. So I'm researching this now and am more or less set up. I just want to see what kind of stuff I can invest in. Jackrabbit suggested I look into Socially Responsible Investments so that I don't inadvertantly support tobacco companies, animal testing companies and companies that fuck up the environment to make more money.

But the funny part is that a company who has no moral qualms could likely make more money and do financially better than a company that is hampered by ethical practices. Sigh. The evil just get richer.

But I figured that since my money habits are not the most responsible and I know I tend to spend a little more than I save, perhaps it's a good idea to start managing what money I DO have saved a little better, so I can be in a situation where splurging a little won't affect me and I have the leeway to do that. Choo no mang?

Anyway, so that's all happening around now. I'm becoming a high roller of pennies. hehe.

Not much else is new. I'm getting addicted to the Sims again, which is way too much fun for my own good. Well, I don't watch TV, I gotta do some zombie out entertainment somehow...

I have class tonight. It's finally raining in this City and it's about goddam time, to be honest. It's been too dry, and too hot here. I want to break out all my fall clothes cause they're so much cuter than my winter clothes. Heh.

Ok so I just talked to the last agent that I had a lead on and he said he only has room on his roster for drop dead gorgeous knockouts because he already has a few new actors and because I have a look that would work, but would require a lot of ground work for the agent, he didn't want to take me. He said "not to say that you aren't attractive, and your training is solid, but all I have room for in your age category blah blah, is walk through the door hire drop dead gorgeous, and you don't have it."

FUCK THIS INDUSTRY, FUCK IT FUCK IT FUCK IT. I know I shouldn't take it personally, and it's not personal, of course, but it still hurts. There are so many actresses out there that are TERRIBLE. Just crap, but they look hot and have hot tits and a tight ass.

Fuck you Western Culture for being so fucking pathetic that you have to worship subjective beauty over ability and talent.

I'm so angry right now. Yeah yeah Jackrabbit. You told me so. I fucking know.

I'm so frustrated I could cry. But I'm going to try to let it roll off my back. My ego is just bruised, that's all. I can deal with this. It's just going to take a minute to get over the initial shock, that's all.

Phew. Breathe. You're good at what you do. You're GREAT at what you do. If only you could get recognized.

By the time you're 30 honey.

old bitching - random - new bitching

Reads Like:
Consider Phlebas
Sounds Like:
vaccuum
Feels Like:
Throat is in a wringer

1 fussbugets said...



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