Or maybe I fast forward and it's horrible. Maybe I gave up on the diet and gained 100 pounds. Maybe the lawyer dumped me for another woman, younger and prettier. Maybe I am childless. But I choose to think positively and that I made good choices in my life.

I wish that Jackrabbit and I had worked out and things hadn't been so fucked up. I wish that his love for me had been enough for him. I wish that it wasn't too late for us now, but it is. I wish that the Lawyer never changes, that he stays the way he is now for as long as possible. I wish that he would get over his mistrust of women in general.

I wish I didn't feel sick right now. I wish I hadn't eaten that popcorn. I wish I had more time to do the things I want, I wish I had the money to do the things I want. I wish I had the power of omnipotence. Then I could do all this stuff without wishing. I wouldn't wish for immortality, though I could be that and change that anytime I want, since I'm omnipotent.

I wish people would call me more often. I don't get enough messages on my answering machine. I wish people would email me more. I don't get enough emails that aren't 'enlarge your penis'. As useful as that would be for me...

I wish I liked coffee. I wish I could eat whatever I wanted and never get fat. I wish I could run 10k without breaking a sweat. I wish I could dance ballet. I wish I was a better dancer all around. I wish I was a good little yoga practitioner and that I was flexible in the sickest sense. I wish I had smaller thighs. I wish I could be a housewife sometimes, cooking and taking care of kids and doing all that domestic anti-feminist shit. I wish I had an agent. I wish I lived on a deserted island with the Lawyer, running around naked and eating leaves and maybe we had a boat too. I wish that people could be happier and treat each other more kindly. I wish that guys like Saddam hussein would have more accidents like getting hit by a car or falling down the stairs and breaking their necks at a young age to spare the rest of us the trouble.

I wish I could stop wanting more things in life, I wish I could appreciate more the things I have. I wish I wish I wish. How many wishes did I get again Genie?