Jul. 31, 2003 - 11:16 a.m.
Wreck

Why do I allow my happiness to hinge so much on other people?

Why is it that when I have a fight or small thing with someone, especially jackrabbit, I'm destroyed and can't take it?

Am I really this weak and dependent? Looks like it.

I feel like bingeing out and eating piles of food, but I know I'll just feel sick after. I'm so miserable.

Well, I've tried calling him today several times and I think he's forwarding me to voice mail since his phone at work has call display. Well, I'm taking the hint. I wont call him anymore.

I can also assume that he and I will not be riding my new bike back over the bridge together tomorrow. He's away on the Island for the weekend too to visit his grandparents. So I can pretty much assume that if I see him at all, it will be next tuesday onwards. But somehow I feel like this is the end...

I'm being over dramatic. But I've done my crawling today and he's not accepting it. I guess that is that.

I won't get my hopes up about tomorrow after work, I won't get my hopes up about camping. I'll just let him come to me when he wants to, if he wants to, that is.

I'm a wreck.

old bitching - random - new bitching

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