I'm not doing too badly with it. There were lots of things yesterday that could have set me off, but I just remembered "I am zen today", which is a little silly, not the greatest mantra ever, but it seemed to help. When I felt sad or weird or irritated or anything I just repeated that and it made me feel a little better.

I haven't heard from Trevor for a while. I'm actually ok with that, though I really do wonder about the sincerity of anything he ever said to me. I suppose I just don't expect people to lie to me. I'm naive like that. I like to trust that what this person is telling me is true, though I am always skeptical on some level. There's always a part of me that thinks, do you REALLY believe this stuff? I guess I should listen to that little voice more? I think if I did though, I'd be a very suspicious and unhappy person.

Jackrabbit was brilliant last night, he wasn't feeling too well suffering from allergies and asthma caused by the allergies, but he was really loving for some strange reason. I didn't question it or struggle with it, I just let it happen the way it was and enjoyed it.

And I don't mean sex. I mean walking with our arms around each other and actually kissing me goodbye on the lips instead of the usual cheek thing. It was nice, kinda sentimental, kinda appreciative, "I give a shit about you".

Thanks for that, it made me really happy.