I'm on a low swing again kids, which means my artwork is getting really good and inspired! I think I've spoken about this before, about the correlation between depression and art.

Seems all the really brilliant or at least well received and loved artists, be they singers, writers, painters etc, are depressed, in some form or another. Disturbed is maybe a broader term for it. I mean, come on, Van Gogh was a nutcase. Edgar Allen Poe was an opium addict, and addicts are almost always trying to escape life, in which they're unhappy.

Radiohead's Thom Yorke, Nirvana's Kurt Cobain, a BILLION actors, practically ALL the actors. One of the most common reasons for being an actor or comedian is again, to escape your own life in which you are unhappy, whether you are consciously doing it or if it's just the natural progression of your life.

I don't wonder if that's why I'm such an artist. Perhaps it's like autism. All of us exceptional artists are just high functioning autistics. Ever find yourself doing weird automatic stuff?

I wonder if I can actually classify myself as depressed anymore. I was on medication for a year and a bit, several years back. Now I'm just sad most of the time, but I don't want to do anything ridiculous like kill myself. That's pathetic and selfish and doesn't solve a damn thing.

Now getting hit by a car, that's another story.

AHH man, I was at the gym last night and I saw the saddest thing on the news. I actually started to cry on the ellipse machine. There was a hit and run in the early evening a couple of days ago, but it's dark by 5pm now so it was pitch black out at the time. Three girls were going along a stretch of road, one on a bike, one on rollerblades and one other. All three were hit by a car at the same time. Just ploughed through. The cyclist was badly badly injured, the other as well, I believe, but the focus was on the blader, who was hit so hard she was torn from her blades, which were found several yards from her body. She died. The driver fled without stopping to help or anything. There were two other people at the scene shortly after, one man, who called 9-1-1 and a woman who tried to administer CPR to the blader and failed.

The blader's father was interviewed and he was hysterical, rightly so, and was so furiously angry about the driver who fled. He said through raging tears and while violently shaking, "how can you hit someone in a car and not know it? How can you hit three people and not try to help them, guilty or not. What kind of person does this? Oh god oh god oh god." I almost threw up. They did catch someone, who is now in custody, and they are in the process of gathering evidence from his car in order to charge him. I hope the motherfucker suffers for the rest of his existence. Sure, he fucked up big big time by hitting them in the first place, but not trying to help them, that's what's fucking him in the ass. Not in terms of jail time or anything, but in his head and his life. If there's karma, he is SO FUCKED now. Wow it pissed me off and upset me to see that story. What is WRONG with people?

To get all hippy n shit, there isn't enough love anymore. Nobody cares about shit and it's killing us. I wonder if he had stopped and put her in the car and drove to the hospital or ANYTHING, would she have lived. Motherfucker. I can't imagine.

I don't think I talked about this when it happened to me. A couple of months ago I was leaving Granville Island, which isn't really an island at all, rather it's an area beneath the Granville Street bridge which is a rather main highway through town. People throw themselves from this bridge often. My coworkers have had to help pull people out of the water etc. One guy that works in the lounge was cycling out and a jumper landed right in front of his bike and caused him to fall and break his leg.

Anyway, as I was leaving, I looked to the side and noticed "police line do not cross" tape. There were a few cops standing around, and behind them, I noticed a yellow tarp. The tarp was covering a body. A man had thrown himself from the bridge onto the sidewalk beneath and was dead. Just like that, it was over. It's so fast and so final, everything changes.

Lighter things:

I've been vegetarian for 13 days now! Not a stitch of meat! YAY. And you know what, it's not that hard at all. Sure, I've walked by McDonalds a couple of times and thought BURRRRGERRRR but then again, it's the idea of eating the junk, not the meat. So I think I will succeed.

I have a new favourite writer, and I think it makes me an ubergeek, which I am sadly close to being in the first place. Iain Banks. Guy's an imagination genius. Wasp Factory is a disturbing book which pretty much centres around death. Damn it's good though.

Alright, I think I have work to do. What a death themed week this is turning out to be.