It was fun, it wasn't majorly involved, just silliness and boobs. But it was nice to feel attractive. I was complimented proffusely on my breasts and beauty. Can't hurt one's ego for a night to hear that, can it?

Now the dilemma...do I talk about this semi-orgy with my therapist? HAHA.

I find I'm already omitting truths to him, and that's certainly not aiding my progress in anyway.

Do I tell him that I slept with JR again, when I knew I shouldn't have? I will tell him the revelation that I came to.

I defer to JR. If I want something, and he suggests something else and I concede, I then am disappointed, frustrated with myself and angry that I didn't stand up for myself. Then I take it out on him, and most of the time, the things he's doing or suggesting are his way of looking after me, or thinking of me, even if it is roundabout or not his responsibility. So I can appreciate the thought behind his actions. I just have to learn to speak up when I want something or don't want something. This would eliminate a certain large percentage of our fights.

So that's a good step forward. I've also found I'm able to have unattached sex with him. We slept together twice over the fri/sat night and not once did I feel "poor me, why doesn't he want me forever? ohhhh I love him so when we have sex". I was more like "getting fucked is fun". Another leap in the direction of getting over him.

Things are going well, in that arena, it seems.

Still feel like I'm going to be single forever though...