Jul. 17, 2002 - 11:25 a.m.
The Gunslinger
I have always had a small literary crush on the lead character in the series, Roland (what a name!). I actually was dating a guy named Rodney once, and I accidentally (yeah, sure it was) called him Roland on several occasions. This character is a tall, haunted, sad, hard man with dark dark hair and faded sky blue eyes. As the books progress, you find out why he's hard and faded in more ways than one. He's a gunslinger and he's trained to kill and everything about him is sad, beautiful and romantic. Funny thing is, the books aren't even girl's books, they're written by Stephen King and they are often grisly and awful. Basically all my life I've wanted a man that looked like that, beautiful in a way that isn't obvious at first.
If you haven't read the book and intend to, don't read any more of this entry!
In this book you find out that when he was 14 and had passed his test to become a gunslinger, a bunch of stuff happened and you discover that he was in love once. Obsessed, and consumed and totally and madly in love with a lovely girl named Susan. A bunch of other stuff happens, and by no fault of his own, but because of Roland, she dies, burned in a bonfire for crimes she didn't commit, and crimes that she did, all in the name of love and passion and belief in what was good and right. He watches her die in a glass ball that can show you things in the future and in the present, and he watches the love of his life, the only love he'll ever have, die in front of his eyes, burned to death and calling out his name.
It was such a powerful scene in the book and it broke my heart. I know that I couldn't ever live through watching that happen. The absolute tragedy of it. Imagine being her and not feeling any pain, just heat, and all you can think about as you die is him, his eyes, his smile and his laughter and how he held you and kissed you and all the promises of never leaving each other and the knowing that you'll never feel any of that again and that he'll never feel you again and all those promises are broken and that you won't exist anymore. Imagine being her and thinking about him having to live without you and knowing that although he's still living, he died with you and that he'll never feel anything again.
I've been really sad this week, and I suppose I could turn this into something more romantic and beautiful, but all the sadness in the story was what I picked up today.
How everyone that Roland loves or cares about ends up dead, directly or indirectly because of him and his quest for the Dark Tower. It's heartbreaking and I love him all the more for how much it hurts him and he goes on.
It also dawned on me yesterday that Chris is the gunslinger. In looks anyway. He's tall, with dark dark hair and faded sky blue eyes. He even has a scruffy 5 oclock shadow thing going on all the time (hates shaving).
I'm luckier than I think I am.
old bitching - random - new bitching
Sounds Like:
Feels Like:
0 fussbugets said...
� old
� favourites
� cast
� guestbook
� 24" waist questions
� notes
� profile
� diaryland
� weirdo searches
� the movie list
� goals n wishes
� me me me
� exploding dog
� private
� guestmap
� diaryrings
What's Wrong With Alice?
last five entries:
Spell it out
Rehash
to keep her
End of the line
what to do, what to do.