Aug. 16, 2004 - 12:42 a.m.
what to do, what to do.

Hello Kids.

I'm faced with a decision. I have to end this diary and begin a new one, fresh-like. But there's so much writing in here. Two years worth. Do I go through it entry by entry and copy over the good stuff? What about the rest of my gold membership? I lose that one, that sucks.

I've loved 95% of my work over the last month and I don't want to lose any of that, nor do I want to make this whole thing private. Perhaps there are a few of you that I could email with the password?

How do I go about this? There is a small trust issue. And there is someone who has the ability to send the link to this diary to a lot of very good friends of mine. I am trusting that he won't, simply because I need to do that, and give him due credit that he won't. But the thought of everyone I know finding this is rather upsetting.

I'm not sure if it's because I've said anything offensive, which I don't think I have, but it's more because there is so much in here that can be misconstrued, and so many people don't understand the dynamics of this community. Fair enough, I don't expect that everyone should, but when things bite you in the ass simply because they don't understand, then it's just a giant shame that it had to be that way. Already someone's opinion has been "too bad, because I like Arianna". Which upset me a great deal, even though it's someone I don't talk to at all, unless I run into her on the street.

It upsets me that people form this kind of opinion, and I don't feel good. Already this evening, I've felt sad about a lot of things. A lunch that I shouldn't have sat in on when I ran into them at the market - I didn't think much about it at the time, I just sat in, and now I feel like an idiot because that's how I was perceived. I wouldn't have felt that way otherwise.

So it's still apparent that I am blissfully innocent of other people until I discover that I'm perceived in a poor light, and then I can see it and I feel awful.

I don't know. It's just another reason for me to avoid humans even more?

sigh. I guess life just goes on, and there are going to be people that think you're an idiot, and people that think you aren't. I just don't want to know anymore, I just don't.

So yeah...what to do about the diary, eh kids?

I'll think on it.

old bitching - random - new bitching

Reads Like:

Sounds Like:

Feels Like:

0 fussbugets said...

Site Meter