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May. 06, 2004 - 10:17 a.m.
I Feel Sick
Remember how I said once that things that mean something to me in other facets of my life. Lyrics and music etc, often all coverge to apply to the same thing?
I just read THESE lyrics again, and my god if they don't sound fucking written for me today.
It's hard being such a sensitive person. I was going through some of my old writing from back when I met Trom and damned if all my little red flags weren't up then too. I was avoiding becoming attracted to him like the plague, but he was quite open with being very attracted to me. I talked myself out of being into him. I rationalized that I wasn't ready, that I wasn't attracted to this or that about him. I gave myself reasons to not want to do things with him.
He's a flirt, like crazy, and damned again if that doesn't make me feel cheap, expendable, and just one more cute girl that he exercised his attracting skills on.
And I played right into that trap.
FUUUUUCK I'm such an idiot. Why can't bitterness just seep in all the way so that I feel nothing TOO, instead of feeling everything and knowing that it's a mistake but not doing anything about it?
old bitching - random - new bitching
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What's Wrong With Alice?
last five entries:
Spell it out
Rehash
to keep her
End of the line
what to do, what to do.
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