Chris and Nonie really want me to come to their wedding and I really want to go. This is an unselfish thing for me. It'll be hard to see the painful couple there, but I can avoid them just fine if I need to. I'll be busy helping Nonie and Chris and meeting new people and tanning and playing in the sun and things. I think it's important to Nonie that I come and it's important to me to be there for her and for them.

It's going to be a fun weekend. I just have moments of fear over what it will feel like. When her name is mentioned my chest still tightens so I know I won't be just fine. I'm afraid of what I will or won't have to say.

But I have this fabulous dress, and I have this fabulous me and I really think that I'll have more fun than not at this wedding.

I'm just scared. That's all. In the light of day, fear always seems foolish.