I've put my finger on some of the reasons Jana makes me upset. It's because she is several thing I want to be. Slim and petite and pert. Organized. Active in the film industry. Close knit, common interest family (mine is supportive but I don't relate well to any of them, I do my best). Slim and petite and pert. Did I mention slim and petite and pert? She's just so pure and sweet seeming. Angelic. It's illustrated, once again, the virgin/slut thing. Guys love to fuck the naughty girls, they're good for fun. But they want to marry the virgins. Next to her, I'm huge, vile, crass, clodhopping, thick, distracted, shallow, materialistic, a wanna be artist, a wanna be. Everything I can do she can do better. I suppose in Tromley's defence, why settle for a lesser quality copy of the original when you can have the real thing?

Girls like her make me hate myself.