Men will date you but when they get tired of having sex with you (as most men do, because it's their nature to want to have sex with as many women as possible to spread around their genes) they either leave you, cheat on you or stop having sex with you and get restless and unpleasant.

I was also informed that it's asking too much when I say that I want someone to love me as much as I love them. And from my past experiences, it is.

Men will also tell you whatever you want to hear, and they'll tell you this in a way that you believe them. You think they're telling you the truth. They manipulate you into things, sleep with you, get tired of sleeping with you and leave/cheat/ignore. OR They just sleep with you once, tell you they'll give you a call tomorrow and that you can hang out that weekend and you never hear from them again.

I don't mind if, say, it's understood from the start that what is about to happen is purely sex, no relationship expected, nothing, just sex and fun. But it's when there's a suggestion of more, and you are lied to that pisses me off.

Then there's the ones that tell you they love you and all that. They tell you what an amazing person you are etc, but don't want to be with you because you don't look good in clothes, in their opinion. Even when they think you look hot in bed, or hot naked.

OH, and then there's the ones that tell you you are the most amazing girlfriend they've ever had, that you are worth any amount of trouble, that they really really like you and that it's a serious relationship, and then they dump you because their friend liked you first. Especially when I am not interested in said friend and said friend is aware of this.

It just seems to me that no matter what I am, I am not worth fighting for.

Would you mind if I put this letter in my diary? These are things I've been trying to put into order and they seem to have come together a bit here...

I'm not me anymore.

Arianna.