There is someone who I've been with, who has decided he doesn't want to be with me anymore, in a romantic and relationship way, but is in love with me. Who thinks I am the most amazing person he knows.

How does that work? In my past, I have had three gay men fall in love with me. This makes sense to me. They love my personality, they love to be with me, they love everything about me, but they don't physically love me. They don't want to fuck me. No physical attraction at all. But they thought about me all day, sought me out and practically couldn't stand to not be around me. But again, it makes perfect sense, because the personalities can mesh, but the bodies can't because they physically love men, and I am not a man.

But what if this person were straight? How can you love someone so much in one way, but not find them attractive enough to want to be with them? I'm not talking about friendly love, I'm talking about real love. Minus the infatuation I suppose.

Here's the hardest part. How do I continue a friendship with this person? I am constantly confused, I hurt inside to look at him, but I am the same. I want to spend time with him and I can't stand not hearing from him.

It's a strange place to be isn't it? It's obviously not meant to be. There's something out there that's better for me.

I suppose I could think of it in a glass half full sort of way. There are so many people out there totally devoid of love; for themselves, for others, FROM others. I have love in all directions. I give love in all directions, and now I have it coming from one more sun and it should make me just that much warmer. I think that's how I am going to take it. Love from friends is much more valuable than a passing romance. They stay forever.

Every romantic relationship ends, save for the one right before you die, which ends when you die, so really, as I said, this kind has more longevity, no bullshit messing it up, no sex making things weird. Just love, and time spent. I think I can get used to this.