I don't mind so much other than the fact that people have to look at me. All it says to me is that I have been running myself too ragged and not taking care of me. I need more ME time. Time for me. My immune system is the shits right now obviously, since I have this affliction. I'll get over it, but will everyone else?

The intenet is still down at work, so I am still not able to catch up with everyone else's diary, subsequently, no-one is reading mine! Oh well. Maybe they are waiting for an update. As I said before, the last thing I want to do when I get home from work is spend more time in front of my computer these days, although there was a time I would spend ALL my time in front of the computer.

I had another audition today for a guy I auditioned for a while ago, the one that I had two callbacks for and didn't get. I wasn't scuzzy enough maybe? It went well, he liked my choices.

I also got an SOC role in something I auditioned for the lead in. They decided to go with a blond, since the other characters who were here siblings were blond. They just thought it looked better. So they gave me the SOC role, which will more than likely be upgraded to Actor role (under 5 lines), with which I can then apply to the Union for an apprenticeship. YAY the UNION. I don't know if that's bad news, good news or great news. But it's a step in the right direction for my career to say the least.

I had a breakthrough in class on Sunday. I am pretty aware of how I try to draw attention away from my body. I've been subconsciously doing it for YEARS. Shea said I have to free my body up in order for my work to progress and I suddely found myself asking the question: "Why do I feel I have to draw attention away from my body?" What's the point? I am the way I am and no matter how I straight I sit and how much I hold in my stomache muscles, I still occupy the same amount of space. I am still the same mass, same volume. It's stupid.

So I am not going to do it anymore. I'm all for sitting up straight, as a matter of back health and good breathing. But I am not going to hold myself still for fear that someone might see a roll, or think, hey she's fat. Know why? Because everyone else is far too busy thinking about their own fears and self-loathing to bother with me!

I'm a fox, even with a cold sore, baby.

Next entry: PRIDE PICS..FINALLY!!