May. 17, 2004 - 3:22 p.m.
Shvinehunt - It's Phonetic asshole.

I just reread one of Jackrabbit's last emails to me. Yeah that did it. He said he was very hurt by the way I had ended things.

He said he was really quite angry about the whole thing. In context, it looks like he actually meant our entire relationship.

You're angry? YOU'RE angry? FUCK YOU. You are an asshole. You are a complete and total asshole. You live in a fantasy world, where you are a sensitive, wise being. You are neither sensitive nor wise. What you are is selfish, numb, self-obsessed and CONDESCENDING. You insult your friends, you insult your co-workers. You think you know so much. You are nasty. A nasty piece of work with nothing nice to say about anyone.

And when you do have something nice to say, you take it back again. You find something else unpleasant to say/think after wards. And your compliments are always given in a condescending manner, as though you are giving praise to a dog.

I wonder what Jacqueline would think if she heard all the shit you've spouted about her? I wonder what Jason would think? Your oldest friend that you consider clumsy and slobby and disorganized and irresponsible and all those other things that you find deplorable. Oh, but he's sweet, like a nice puppy dog. Pat pat pat.

AUGH fuck you. You couldn't be more mislead. You couldn't be more wrong about how the world sees you, or how it works. You assume other men behave in certain ways because that's how you behave. And you figure you're one of the guys.

Well, you're not. And I don't know what FRIENDS of yours you talked to that took up your charge in our last and final incident. Because all the friends I know that were yours, were at my house that night, doing what you should have done. Looking after a friend in trouble.

FUCK I'm angry, Fuck you for being angry, I really don't think you have the right. I tell you what I was.

I was stupid to think that you had it in you to actually love someone. You don't. You have too much fear, too much anxiety, you don't love yourself, and you have too much mistrust. I don't think it's your fault that you are like this, but I do despise that you don't even suspect that there's something seriously wrong with you. Instead, you find why there's something seriously wrong with everyone else around you to justify your own isolation and social problems. You drag them down to bring yourself up.

I admitted and always have that there's something wrong with me. I know this. I know that I'm not perfect and that I have issues and troubles and hurdles to overcome. At least I know this. And because I know this, it's unnecessary for you to harp on them.

LIKE QUEEN OF THE FUCKING HAAAAAARPIES.

AUGH YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE. You were right, you fulfilled your own prophecy. I don't love you anymore. I see you for what you are completely now, and it makes me sad. And it makes me angry, and it makes me want to kick your ass.

Grow up, learn to be more of a child, and fucking cut people some slack and work a little more on yourself.

Swine.

old bitching - random - new bitching

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