I don't know where we stand. I don't know if our plans are still on for tomorrow after work. I don't know if we'll ever talk again.

If he's trying to destroy me, it's working. If he's trying to punish me, I stand punished. It's like he knows what hurts me the most and is dishing it. He knows that I fear desertion and that I don't like to be alone. So he's giving me alone. He's deserting me.

I feel sick to my soul. How can he be so cruel? How can he love me and do this to me? I fucked up! I'm sorry! What do you want from me now? you have my heart, you have my total devotion. What else do you want?

Please call me and we can talk this out. This is just too much.