i was 161 this morning. FUCK. That's 13 pounds more than my lowest weight. How could I let it go like that? How did I?

It started when I got pregnant. I packed on a bunch of weight, but went back to it after. I was 151 wnen I got home from Toronto. And it's just crept up from there.

FUCK.

I'm in a bit of a panic, because I know that Atkins, although it worked brilliantly, is not healthy for me - my hair fell out. And all that fat, I don't wonder if its long term ill effects would be worse. Anyway, ruling that out, anorexia seems to be the other option.

I ate oatmeal for breakfast. Now I'm starving and I have a headache and I feel oddly like that fellow in Supersize me.

I have to make some strict rules or something. A cleanse? FUCK.

I am really worried.